It’s November and Type 1 Awareness month and what is on my mind as I raise awareness this time? It’s my daughters fingers.
Those little fingers curled around mine. That little hand that held mine as she skipped along when she was small. Those little fingers that curled around her teddy as she slept, those fingers now grown up to the same size as mine waving goodbye as she walks to school. Those little soft beautiful fingers.
I hate testing. I know it keeps her safe. I know it has to be done, but I hate it. She hates it too!
I hate that as I am dishing up the dinner, or getting ready for swimming, a look passes between us…time to test. She rarely complains but as I watch her hold another finger pricking lancet to her already scarred fingers, press the button to make the needle shoot into her flesh and then watch her squeeze her already sore finger to make enough blood drop out to test, my heart breaks a little more again.
I hate that as I hold those unsuspecting fingers in her sleep, my mind plays little tricks on me, and pictures her smiling and laughing in her carefree days before diabetes and I struggle to hold the lancet to her finger.
But…when I think about how the lancets have changed over the years, I have a glimmer of hope. Even in the last few years new devices and equipment for type 1 diabetes has made huge advances. Sensors and CGM makes a massive difference. There is even a tattoo that is said to show blood sugar levels, and insulin pumps now can almost mimic a pancreas in a small way. Who knows what the next few years will bring! Maybe the cure is not that far away.
As I think about her beautiful fingers though, I also see her eyes. Yes, sometimes they are filled with tears and pain, but I see the strength in them too. Type 1 Diabetes might leave its scars, but it also shows and grows amazing strength and determination. My heart is filled with pride and admiration. She is strong. I can be strong too and help her keep going whilst we wait for a cure.
Frederick Banting, developed the life saving medication insulin in 1922, who will develop the cure? Lets wait and see. One day there will be a cure. There will. Until then, we will keep testing and not give up hoping.